So finally. Turkey day.
Happy birthday Moxie!!
I woke up a little bit late, so Mom, Dad and Moxie left before I had finished getting ready. I thought I would be last to get ready, but Auntie went on a mad cleaning spree right as I walked down the stairs to leave. She was still in her pj's, and we still had to load up the car. I let her do her cleaning thing; whatever will help you feel not so flustered, Auntie. I sat down for a few minutes, and texted a "happy thanksgiving, i love you" message to probably 200 people. It made me giggle, listening to the SMStext alert over and over again. Not sure why, but it was funny to me to hear it. Poor thing was on overload!! We loaded up the car, and the puppies came along for the ride. As much as I love those dogs, I still hate riding with animals in the car. I think its gross. Plus, one of them kept rolling down my window from the drivers side. I tried to find it humorous, but after about the 3rd time, my hair wasn't laughing and neither was I.
Pictures, pictures galore, between me, Moxie and Auntie. [Truly, it runs in the family. You should see the boxes full of pictures from my grandparents...] Moxie brought her large format camera from school, and had me as her "assistant," teehee! It was really neat being able to work with a new piece of equipment and learn a little bit about it...just the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure. It was raining outside, and was really chilly. Poor Moxie had to drag us outside for her pictures, but they turned out amazing, of course.
My cousin Aubree and her boyfriend Tyson showed up later :) Last time we saw each other was on vacation about 5 years ago. It only took a few minutes for the jitters to leave, and to be warmed up to each other :)
well golly. i've blogged so much today. but still SO much more! and the best part, too!! but i gotta scoot. my ride is about to get here. I'm finally in portland, and about to head to Hood River for the next few days. So...more to come!
11.28.2008
preparing.
Almost to the summary of turkey day!
I decided to break up the last blog, since it was so huge.
Wednesday morning, Mom, Dad and I headed over to Grandmas with three vehicles: their van, my cousins Mercades, and a U-Haul truck. [which means I got to drive! oh how I have missed driving.] And so it happened, that it was raining. This is St. George, Utah, where it only rains 7 to 10 inches each year. OF COURSE it was raining!! I couldn't help but laugh. That would happen, now wouldn't it? But, the show must go on!! Mom and I wrestled with getting Grandma packed up. Didn't take much, because that was part of her daily routine! [ha ha.] Another bittersweet reunion. Its been probably two years since I saw Grandma, but she thinks its been longer because of her dementia. It was like dealing with a child, really. She couldn't remember anything, so we kept having to tell her the same things over and over again.
"What are we doing?"
"We're packing up your things, because you're moving to Uncles, remember?"
"Oh, right!"
Everything in the room was hers, but she kept telling me to leave things behind. "No, that was here when I got here. That stays; its not mine."
So on and so forth.
Thankfully, we were able to get her out of the room at lunch time, and Dad was able to join her. Mom and I hauled cart loads of things, up and down the elevator into the vehicles. Auntie was off elsewhere, running errands. I was really being a pain. I didn't want to be there, and I was sick of moving. But I had to stop complaining after my Mom made a comment to my Dad as a joke. "This is our own personal hell. Moving, once a week!" And its true. The last month or so they've moved once a week, whether it be their own house, or someone elses. Ridiculous. At one point, we were standing at the elevator, waiting to take another load up. Auntie got off, pushing and empty wheelchair, saying, "This is a really bad idea. We shouldn't be doing this right now..." I nearly lost it for Mom and Dad's sake. I was frustrated enough, but I haven't been in the glue of this family like they have. We had already pretty much cleared out the room, and she was saying that it was a bad time? She thought it was going to take forever because it was lunchtime...lots of elevator traffic. When she said that, she didn't realize how much we had already done. But I was still mad...would you rather us wait another two hours? Or even do it tomorrow, on Thanksgiving day? Hmmm....so many OPTIONS!!!
["moving again..? seriously??]
Whew....anyways. Mom pointed out to me a darling old couple. "They used to be big swing dancers, and every Tuesday, they still dance here. Eventually, they had to tell him, 'Now, you can't be throwing her over your head anymore!'" I wish I could have seen them. She was so tiny, and they were both so happy.
But for the most part, it was so hard for me to watch everyone else in the home. Getting old and fragile is unavoidable, but its so painful. "I don't to watch you get old, Momma..." I choked up and tears began to well up in my eyes. "Hey...Dad and I are sticking to our plan...mustang off of a cliff!!" She always knows how to make me smile.
All three vehicles loaded up. Grandma was going to be in the Mercedes with me, and I prepared myself for an...interesting ride. I followed mom to a sandwich shop, and the two of us went inside. It was colder than I was expecting, for Utah. Grandma thought so, too, so she just waited for us. We were famished, so she didn't have to wait long for us to snarf down our food. I continued to follow Mom to Uncles house, with Grandma asking the same questions.
"Is this your car?"
"No, Grandma, its Ashlee's..."
"Oh..."
"She's in New York right now."
"Oh, that's right. They just might keep her there, you know."
"They just might..."
Sometimes the conversation would be different, like she would remember Ashlee was in New York instead of me having to remind her. But the hardest part was having to remind her that she was moving.
"So where are we going?"
"To Uncles house, remember?"
"What? There must be some misunderstanding. They never asked me if I wanted to move..."
"Yes they did, Grandma. In fact, you asked to move there."
"Hm..." A few moments would pass, and more than likely would say, "It sure takes a long time to get there. Is that our van in front of us?" [She would be talking about Mom's van.]
"Yeah, it sure is. I'm following her because I don't know the way to Uncles house."
"Oh sure you do. You're a good driver. Very smooth. I'm sure you wouldn't get lost. Do you like driving these streets?"
"I do, but this is the first time I have...I don't live here, Grandma. Ashlee does, but I go to school in Oregon."
"Oooh really? What are you going to school for? What's your major?"
I did my best to explain Ecola Bible School to her, knowing she wouldn't remember it for loing. This was pretty much the extent of our conversation for two hours, but recycled. I thought about mixing it up and making up stories, but knowing my luck, she would remember the incorrect versions. But she was right about one thing...it was taking us a long time to get there. Mom missed an exit, so she had to turn around. I didn't mind. Any excuse to drive more.
[around uncles house.]
We finally got to Uncles again. Needless to say, I was ready for some new conversation and was happy to see the rest of the family. The guys were unloading the big stuff from the U-Haul truck, and I was banished from the garage because of my wet hair.
"I don't want you getting sick!"
"Okay, okay, Mom. So what can I do?"
"Peel apples!"
Once she was done in the garage, she got to baking immediately. The house was filled with "scrumtrulescence..." I wish the thanksgiving aroma could be captured in something besides a memory. She made a fabulous roast that night, and two teasing pies that couldn't be touched until the next day. Grandma had already gone to bed when Auntie showed up with Moxie, who was feeling and sounding better. She could hardly whisper, but it was good to have her around again.
[happy apples!]
The dinner meal before day of thanksgiving was put to good use; consider it stretching, the warm-ups for eating. We stuffed ourselves, almost to pain, and pushed that pain to the limits with reminiscing. Dad and Uncle were howling as they quoted things their dad used to say. I won't even bother quoting them, because I'll either butcher them or they won't make sense in the humor department to people outside of the family. But it was lovely to see Dad and Uncle talking again. We've been through so much, this little family of ours. Those are tales of their own... Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for the turn of events to bring everyone together again. No one could have predicted it. It truly is a blessing.
I decided to break up the last blog, since it was so huge.
Wednesday morning, Mom, Dad and I headed over to Grandmas with three vehicles: their van, my cousins Mercades, and a U-Haul truck. [which means I got to drive! oh how I have missed driving.] And so it happened, that it was raining. This is St. George, Utah, where it only rains 7 to 10 inches each year. OF COURSE it was raining!! I couldn't help but laugh. That would happen, now wouldn't it? But, the show must go on!! Mom and I wrestled with getting Grandma packed up. Didn't take much, because that was part of her daily routine! [ha ha.] Another bittersweet reunion. Its been probably two years since I saw Grandma, but she thinks its been longer because of her dementia. It was like dealing with a child, really. She couldn't remember anything, so we kept having to tell her the same things over and over again.
"What are we doing?"
"We're packing up your things, because you're moving to Uncles, remember?"
"Oh, right!"
Everything in the room was hers, but she kept telling me to leave things behind. "No, that was here when I got here. That stays; its not mine."
So on and so forth.
Thankfully, we were able to get her out of the room at lunch time, and Dad was able to join her. Mom and I hauled cart loads of things, up and down the elevator into the vehicles. Auntie was off elsewhere, running errands. I was really being a pain. I didn't want to be there, and I was sick of moving. But I had to stop complaining after my Mom made a comment to my Dad as a joke. "This is our own personal hell. Moving, once a week!" And its true. The last month or so they've moved once a week, whether it be their own house, or someone elses. Ridiculous. At one point, we were standing at the elevator, waiting to take another load up. Auntie got off, pushing and empty wheelchair, saying, "This is a really bad idea. We shouldn't be doing this right now..." I nearly lost it for Mom and Dad's sake. I was frustrated enough, but I haven't been in the glue of this family like they have. We had already pretty much cleared out the room, and she was saying that it was a bad time? She thought it was going to take forever because it was lunchtime...lots of elevator traffic. When she said that, she didn't realize how much we had already done. But I was still mad...would you rather us wait another two hours? Or even do it tomorrow, on Thanksgiving day? Hmmm....so many OPTIONS!!!
["moving again..? seriously??]
Whew....anyways. Mom pointed out to me a darling old couple. "They used to be big swing dancers, and every Tuesday, they still dance here. Eventually, they had to tell him, 'Now, you can't be throwing her over your head anymore!'" I wish I could have seen them. She was so tiny, and they were both so happy.
But for the most part, it was so hard for me to watch everyone else in the home. Getting old and fragile is unavoidable, but its so painful. "I don't to watch you get old, Momma..." I choked up and tears began to well up in my eyes. "Hey...Dad and I are sticking to our plan...mustang off of a cliff!!" She always knows how to make me smile.
All three vehicles loaded up. Grandma was going to be in the Mercedes with me, and I prepared myself for an...interesting ride. I followed mom to a sandwich shop, and the two of us went inside. It was colder than I was expecting, for Utah. Grandma thought so, too, so she just waited for us. We were famished, so she didn't have to wait long for us to snarf down our food. I continued to follow Mom to Uncles house, with Grandma asking the same questions.
"Is this your car?"
"No, Grandma, its Ashlee's..."
"Oh..."
"She's in New York right now."
"Oh, that's right. They just might keep her there, you know."
"They just might..."
Sometimes the conversation would be different, like she would remember Ashlee was in New York instead of me having to remind her. But the hardest part was having to remind her that she was moving.
"So where are we going?"
"To Uncles house, remember?"
"What? There must be some misunderstanding. They never asked me if I wanted to move..."
"Yes they did, Grandma. In fact, you asked to move there."
"Hm..." A few moments would pass, and more than likely would say, "It sure takes a long time to get there. Is that our van in front of us?" [She would be talking about Mom's van.]
"Yeah, it sure is. I'm following her because I don't know the way to Uncles house."
"Oh sure you do. You're a good driver. Very smooth. I'm sure you wouldn't get lost. Do you like driving these streets?"
"I do, but this is the first time I have...I don't live here, Grandma. Ashlee does, but I go to school in Oregon."
"Oooh really? What are you going to school for? What's your major?"
I did my best to explain Ecola Bible School to her, knowing she wouldn't remember it for loing. This was pretty much the extent of our conversation for two hours, but recycled. I thought about mixing it up and making up stories, but knowing my luck, she would remember the incorrect versions. But she was right about one thing...it was taking us a long time to get there. Mom missed an exit, so she had to turn around. I didn't mind. Any excuse to drive more.
[around uncles house.]
We finally got to Uncles again. Needless to say, I was ready for some new conversation and was happy to see the rest of the family. The guys were unloading the big stuff from the U-Haul truck, and I was banished from the garage because of my wet hair.
"I don't want you getting sick!"
"Okay, okay, Mom. So what can I do?"
"Peel apples!"
Once she was done in the garage, she got to baking immediately. The house was filled with "scrumtrulescence..." I wish the thanksgiving aroma could be captured in something besides a memory. She made a fabulous roast that night, and two teasing pies that couldn't be touched until the next day. Grandma had already gone to bed when Auntie showed up with Moxie, who was feeling and sounding better. She could hardly whisper, but it was good to have her around again.
[happy apples!]
The dinner meal before day of thanksgiving was put to good use; consider it stretching, the warm-ups for eating. We stuffed ourselves, almost to pain, and pushed that pain to the limits with reminiscing. Dad and Uncle were howling as they quoted things their dad used to say. I won't even bother quoting them, because I'll either butcher them or they won't make sense in the humor department to people outside of the family. But it was lovely to see Dad and Uncle talking again. We've been through so much, this little family of ours. Those are tales of their own... Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for the turn of events to bring everyone together again. No one could have predicted it. It truly is a blessing.
11.26.2008
hectic.
my flight went smooth and quick to Vegas...and I didn't have to wait long for Mom and Auntie to pick me up. We were waiting for sister, and I had been texting her all day. She told me that she had no voice, but when she walked up, the poor thing was crying her voice hurt so much. We got her bags, and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had heard many good things about it, but had never actually eaten there. The three of us giggled a lot, but it wasn't as loud as normal since poor Moxie couldn't talk or laugh. Sitting there, watching the servers and bartenders made me miss working. It feels nice to be able to say that I miss my job. Not alot of people can say that :)
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma...
my flight went smooth and quick to Vegas...and I didn't have to wait long for Mom and Auntie to pick me up. We were waiting for sister, and I had been texting her all day. She told me that she had no voice, but when she walked up, the poor thing was crying her voice hurt so much. We got her bags, and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had heard many good things about it, but had never actually eaten there. The three of us giggled a lot, but it wasn't as loud as normal since poor Moxie couldn't talk or laugh. Sitting there, watching the servers and bartenders made me miss working. It feels nice to be able to say that I miss my job. Not alot of people can say that :)
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma...
my flight went smooth and quick to Vegas...and I didn't have to wait long for Mom and Auntie to pick me up. We were waiting for sister, and I had been texting her all day. She told me that she had no voice, but when she walked up, the poor thing was crying her voice hurt so much. We got her bags, and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had heard many good things about it, but had never actually eaten there. The three of us giggled a lot, but it wasn't as loud as normal since poor Moxie couldn't talk or laugh. Sitting there, watching the servers and bartenders made me miss working. It feels nice to be able to say that I miss my job. Not alot of people can say that :)
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma... So after a few months of this, Grandma decided she wasnt adjusting well, and wanted to live with Uncle. So that leads us up to now, when Auntie decided to move her the day before thanksgiving, and I dont think that any of us knew those were her plans.]
So, Mom, Auntie and I unpacked boxes of nick-knacks from Grandmas house in California. We wanted to put things in her room that she would remember, and make her feel at home. I think they did a pretty good job :)
About 11, Mom, Dad, and I drove back to Aunties house, and she stayed at Uncles to finish up some paperwork. We got home, and poor Moxie was still in bed, not feeling much better. The girls stayed up talking for a bit, but made ourselves go to bed, knowing we had a big day ahead of us.
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma...
my flight went smooth and quick to Vegas...and I didn't have to wait long for Mom and Auntie to pick me up. We were waiting for sister, and I had been texting her all day. She told me that she had no voice, but when she walked up, the poor thing was crying her voice hurt so much. We got her bags, and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had heard many good things about it, but had never actually eaten there. The three of us giggled a lot, but it wasn't as loud as normal since poor Moxie couldn't talk or laugh. Sitting there, watching the servers and bartenders made me miss working. It feels nice to be able to say that I miss my job. Not alot of people can say that :)
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma...
my flight went smooth and quick to Vegas...and I didn't have to wait long for Mom and Auntie to pick me up. We were waiting for sister, and I had been texting her all day. She told me that she had no voice, but when she walked up, the poor thing was crying her voice hurt so much. We got her bags, and went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I had heard many good things about it, but had never actually eaten there. The three of us giggled a lot, but it wasn't as loud as normal since poor Moxie couldn't talk or laugh. Sitting there, watching the servers and bartenders made me miss working. It feels nice to be able to say that I miss my job. Not alot of people can say that :)
It was a two hour drive to get to St. George, and we were all welcomed by 4 little dogs. Normally, I'm not a fan of the oversized rats, but they are just too sweet. Mom and Dad are going to keep one, actually. Its been a long time since we've had a dog, and Mom wants one for the grandkids to play with in Texas. Such a good Nana... After catching up a bit and planning out the next day, we were thankful to be able to climb into bed. I woke the next morning to see Moxie was gone. Dad had taken her to the doctors office to see if she had strep and to get a prescription. She didn't have strep, and the doctors tried to draw blood to test for mono...but as always, Moxie's veins wouldn't cooperate. While Moxie and Dad were out and about, Mom and I went to the store to shop for thanksgiving dinner. I began to prep myself for seeing my Uncle since he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.
So Mom and I got done shopping, and made our way over to Uncles house. I was a nervous wreck. The last time I saw him was 6 years ago, but I was at my cousins graduation, so it was nothing but a quick hello/goodbye. I honestly cant remember the last time we had some time together, and that saddens me... Mom has seen my Uncle quite a bit, between her travels this summer, with helping Grandma, and Auntie. So she knew his condition. I could only imagine it. I had talked to him on the phone about a month ago, and hearing his slurred speech was hard enough.
"It's going to make you want to cry when you see him," she told me. "But don't. He doesn't like to see it make people sad. Just be happy to see him."
It was about a half hour drive to his house. He lives out in the boonies, but its so beautiful. He used to run a 4-wheel tour, so he lives around amazing red cliffs and sand dunes. Once we got there, we unloaded the groceries. Dad was inside, sitting at the counter on the phone...as always. [Some things never change :] Uncle wasn't around, so I went back to the car for another load. When I came back in, I saw Mom hugging him in the reflection of a mirror. "Don't lose it, Laurel." I rounded the corner to finally say hello, and was greeted with a more tender Uncle than I remembered. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and began to walk towards me. Each step was a struggle for him, and he was hunched over like an old man. I looked at his face...such a contradiction to his body language. He's so happy, so full of love. Definitely changed...
For the next few hours, we caught up on so many missed years, interrupted occasionally by Mr. and Mrs. Cat...the sweetest kitties in the world. [my whole family isnt a cat family, but we wanted to steal them...even mom. thats saying something...] Mom baked up some pizza, and the chatting continued between everyone. After dinner, Auntie, Mom and I went into a room we had set aside for my Grandma.
[okay...a catch up on the Grandma situation. Grandma and Grandpa used to live in Alaska during the summers, and Palm Springs, California the rest of the year. They were both in their late 80's, and needed an in-home assistant. Grandma was beginning to get dementia, and Grandpa had...well alot of things. Congestive heart failure, diabetes... He passed away a few months ago, and Mom and Dad tried to let her stay home with her caregivers, but the sassy old thing kept kicking them out!! So, Mom flew back down to California, and began, yet again, another moving process. Grandma wanted to be near family, and she had none in California, but Uncle and Auntie were in Utah. So, to Utah they took her. Mom found a great nursing home for her, but poor Grandma was so confused. Since she wasn't used to all the stuff in her room, she thought it was a hotel. Each day she would pack up, and go to the front counter. "I'm ready to check out...here's my key!" My poor Auntie was ready to pull her hair out, between the unpacking and all the phone calls from Grandma... So after a few months of this, Grandma decided she wasnt adjusting well, and wanted to live with Uncle. So that leads us up to now, when Auntie decided to move her the day before thanksgiving, and I dont think that any of us knew those were her plans.]
So, Mom, Auntie and I unpacked boxes of nick-knacks from Grandmas house in California. We wanted to put things in her room that she would remember, and make her feel at home. I think they did a pretty good job :)
About 11, Mom, Dad, and I drove back to Aunties house, and she stayed at Uncles to finish up some paperwork. We got home, and poor Moxie was still in bed, not feeling much better. The girls stayed up talking for a bit, but made ourselves go to bed, knowing we had a big day ahead of us.
11.24.2008
leaving.
It's a lovely day in Portland, Oregon. sunny, and colorful. I adore fall. I truly do.
[oh sushi. my love. i had two whole rolls all to myself.]
I'm sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight in a half hour. I've flown so much, but this is my first time alone. I was mostly nervous about tickets/security, but it went smoother than normal. Sister and I are flying into Vegas this afternoon, and mom and auntie are picking us up. We'll drive to St. George, Utah tonight for thanksgiving. But for now, I'm just texting, blogging and watching away. I love people watching. Especially putting the pink panther theme song to the rhythm of strangers walks. That will keep anyone entertained for hours...
It was so strange to be sad saying goodbye to my Ecola family this morning. Its only been what...two months here? ...and I'm already calling them family. Crazy how fast people can bond. But at the same time, it was a good feeling, knowing that friendships like these dont just come and go.
So, my last blog was asking for prayer for confrontation. Well, the confrontation happened, but definitely not like I was expecting. I thought I would have been speaking to a guy here to clear up some "he said she said" nonsense. But instead, I went to the source of the story. I'm not used to girl confrontation, actually. So this was very new to me. But thanks to alot of freaking out before hand and lots and lots of support and prayer from my dorm girls, the conversation went really well. I dont like being mad, especially if there's not point to it. So, it felt good to get it all out. No screaming matches, thankfully. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to talk to the sir involved. I have all week to figure that out.
I'm really nervous about Thanksgiving. Its going to be great seeing family, but my Grandma and Uncle are in really bad conditions. I'm just trying not to be negative nancy right now. I'm so happy I have somewhere to go for thanksgiving :) there. that helps. I fly back into portland on friday, and then I'm heading to a friends house. He's an R.A. at Ecola, and he always opens his house to students who don't have anywhere to go. Pretty cool.
Meagan drove me to portland today. I adore Meagan. I believe that we are long lost sisters. Its frightening how much we have in common. We went to coffee on Thursday to a cafe I hadn't been to before. Waves of Grain, with hearty goods and the best foam in town. Chalkboard finished tables, and an abundance of colorful crayola chalk. We ended up talking for 3 hours. We got a bit carried away once we started talking about musicals and choir. I had my laptop, so OF COURSE I had to show her video clips and songs...We want to go caroling before Christmas break! It's going to be great. We have alot of good people wanting to join along as well.
Little random blip - volleyball is great. I just needed an attitude check. And...I'm getting a killer overhand serve down haha.
Anyways. Last night, I went to sushi with a few friends. I was in heaven...so distracted by the food I forgot to take pictures until it was all gone! But it was a great time of laughter. I went with people I haven't really hung out with before. I love that there's always more people to meet. Always something to learn about those we have met.
Well, I believe that's all for now. Its definitely been a stressful, busy week. But life is good. Joy is abundant. Love remains.
[oh sushi. my love. i had two whole rolls all to myself.]
11.17.2008
request.
so if you think about me this week, please pray for me.
drama just developed this week.
a lot of he said she said nonsense.
there's a certain girl here who isn't here by choice, and she's right out of high school...definitely still in that mindset.
ug. ug. ug.
i dont want to be claiming "woe is me" but i honestly dont understand why drama always flocks to me. i avoid drama as much as possible, and it hunts me down.
so in the next few days, I need to approach someone about this ridiculous situation. I'm kinda nervous [even though being confrontational is normally no problem for me back home] because i dont really know everyone yet. Back home, i could pretty much predict how someone would react to confrontation, but here I'm still learning people. I dont want to lose a friendship. But I'm so scared it might come to that.
heres all I can think right now....seriously? already? its only been 6 weeks.
[my friend candi drew this for me in class to cheer me up. it certainly worked.]
[oh yeah. the 'team girl squad' is a group of friends i have here...]
11.14.2008
much missed.
this last week was kinda rough on me.
Sunday and Tuesday were really bad days, and I really dont like to write out my anger on days like that. So, I'l try to re-cap now, after I've had a few days to brew over my thoughts, have friends pray for me, and get into a better mood :)
[I woke up this morning with a stye beginning to surface on my right eye. Glasses and no makeup for the next few days for me!! it hurts!!!!]
Little blips of drama were beginning to pop up on the radar...but I think they are under control for now.
Volleyball is fun again...I think i just needed a good "attitude adjustment" as my Dad used to say when I was little :)
Yesterday was good. Terribly rainy, and the roads were closed, but I was in a much better mood than the previous day. I really dont like being upset, and I know how obvious it is. I hate that. But I cant hide it. I had a few friends pray with me, and encourage me. People are so amazing here. I cant get over it.
So... I was exhausted all day yesterday, and I planned on sleeping all afternoon. But that didn't happen. Instead, we played volleyball for a bit, and then i played 4 games of pool with some really fun (and good pool players) guys. dinner, and then 2 hours of some great games of volleyball. we had enough for 4 teams....the most people we've had so far. Then an hour of basketball. I came back to my room and showered, and headed up to the lounge with Hilary to watch Kung Fu Panda, but it was already half over. There were a few people playing volleyball again, so I went back to do that instead. We had a great gang of 4 on 4, and then more people joined. So, for a good 5 hours yesterday, I was being active instead of sleeping.
It sure caught up with me today. I kept falling asleep in class this morning, and I felt terrible. So, I took a 3 hour nap after lunch. [and because of that, I'm sure I'll be up all night. sighs.] Today was sunny! But so cold. Its definitely fall, but I love that. I was able to pay attention in class tonight (really good speakers this week :) which is always a good thing. Tonight was our first meeting for book studies. We have the Anchorage dorm girls meetings in Molly's room (our R.A.) and it was exciting seeing who was in the small group. We have about 10 girls, and its so neat getting to know everyone on a deeper level. We're reading Lies Women Believe, and I can tell this is going to get deep and painful fast. But its needed. Molly challenged us with the question, "What has you in bondage?" I spoke up and said something like this.
"Personally, I dont know yet. I know I have alot in my life that is wrong and that needs to be fixed by God, but I'm such a busy person. I'm always on the go, and I never slow down to examine my life. I think I'm scared to do that, and scared what will be revealed to me. So thats what this year is for....to slow down and listen and examine."
There was something so liberating about saying that out loud. Like it hit me hard. SLOW DOWN, LAUREL.
After our small groups, we went to the coach house for bagels! and smoothies. It was neat getting to talk to katie and molly plowman (not our r.a. to clarify :) theyre such sweet girls, and I'm definitely going to hang out with them more. Molly is crazy. It was freezing tonight because of the full moon and clear skies, but she wanted to go for a walk on the beach. We always tease her about "BEACH LOGS KILL!!!" (orientation week was all about that getting hammered into our heads. a very comical week indeed.) So a group of five of us went walking, and it was so neat seeing how rapid the beach changes after a storm. It was alot warmer than I was expecting...clouded over.
Mom and Dad are flying out tonight to head to Utah. I miss them so much. Lynne and a few others held a goodbye party for them, and that made me so happy. They definitely needed it. I love and miss you homer people so much. I'm just now beginning to get homesick, and its all your fault, Lynne!! Your pictures did it for me :( I wish mom and dad could have stopped and driven to Cannon beach, but that would have been really out of their way. I'll see them in like 10 days!!! Thanksgiving...
So I guess that catches up on this week :)
Saturday a group is going into Portland, and we're getting dropped off at the largest book store in the U.S.
Powells, I think its called? Yes? anyways. I'm pretty thrilled about that.
11.10.2008
swirling waters
my friend sarah and i are in bellas right now, and we are looking through the giant blank books they have for people to write in, and we found this poem we love. and i wanted to share it with you all :)
brown shoulders,
white sand,
swirling waters kiss land,
surf calls,
fading free,
night falls,
and so does she.
11.09.2008
frustrated.
Things have been pretty great. I feel like I've gotten to know a majority of the students, which feels pretty good. Its November, meaning stormy season is on the way. Normally, I hate rainy days, but I've been loving them lately.
But the last few days have been kind of irritating. I try to play volleyball and basketball as much as possible, but lately they've gotten way too competitive and dramatic. I'm a competitive person, but when everyone stops having fun and starts to make it so serious, I just get mad at myself and the drama. Ug. So, I'm trying to decide whether or not to play anymore. Sounds really childish, I know, but I would stop playing so I stop getting so mad at myself. There's more to it than that, but thats what it boils down to. I don't like being angry, and that's the only result these days.
Please be praying for me for patience and focus. I know why I'm here, but it's so easy to get distracted. I can't stand drama, but it's inevitable. More girls than guys, so of course cattiness will break loose.
11.05.2008
day of prayer.
how appropriate that today - election day - was set aside as a day of prayer.
it was so encouraging - personally, and corporately.
we started off with our morning lecture, but at 10:30 we were finished and had until 5:30 (dinner and then 7 for classes) to do as we pleased. Seemed like most of the campus was quiet today. So peaceful, knowing that about 100 students were coming together in prayer, but in their own time.
we had a website for prayer requests, where students could post something anonymously or publicly. it was nice having so many things to pray about. we had de-briefing tonight, and it was really amazing hearing so many stories. for some, it was a struggle to pray and be still all day. others, it turned into a day of praise. for me, and alot of the students, I felt like there wasnt enough time. there were so many things that kept popping into my head. "oh i need to pray for that....oh and that too. oh I'll pray for that later...." i must admit, tho, i had to start off with a nap. i was so exhausted today, so i slept for about an hour, and then i was up and ready. so excited to see what would happen. i journaled for about an hour. for me, journaling helps me stay focused, and its so amazing to be able to look back and see prayers that God has answered later down the line. anyways....so i did that for about an hour, and i really wanted to set aside about a half hour where i wasnt writing and just listening. but some of my friends called me and said they were going to have a small worship gathering in the classroom. it was all girls, so that was nice and NOT distracting. they all had lovely voices too :) simple and beautiful.
this weeks speakers are pretty diverse. we have a "christian life" speaker, and i really enjoy him. then we have a genesis speaker. and i dont know how i feel about him yet...he doesnt really speak about genesis alot, I feel. seems like he tells alot of personal stories. he has notes outlined, and he skips over everything saying, "you can read over this later on your spare time..." and im thinking.... well isnt that what classroom time is for...for you to teach us? whatever. I'm just nervous about the test. he has some interesting stories, but come test time, its going to be like my junior year u.s. history class. (my teacher was a football coach. imagine THOSE stories and come test time. yikes.) and on top of that, I'm really kinda sick of genesis. sounds horrible, i know, but this is like week 3 of it in a row. plus, hes skipping over so much because of Dr. Chittick being so thorough last week. "Dr. Chittick went over this last week, right? Ok....just skip it."
anyways. It was really great getting together with a small group of girls, bringing our prayer requests forward, frustrations and praises. so encouraging to hear that other people are going through the same thing.
and you know where this is going...the election. I wasn't really shocked, actually. But here's something God has shown to me this year. It was as I was praying for my roommates at home. When you pray that God's will is done, you know that whatever happens isnt by accident...but in fact is in plan and is exactly how its supposed to be. So, despite the fear I have about our upcoming president, I am trying to rest in the fact knowing that God puts who he wants in power for a reason. There were some terrible kings in the bible....but they were there for a purpose. So there. This is whats supposed to happen. Its not an accident.
One of my roommates told me today that its official - shes not going to stay for the next terms. It really makes me sad because I feel like we connect. One other roommate is questioning if she really wants to be here. And my third roommate is here for sure, but I'm considering moving to another dorm. I would feel terrible for leaving her here, tho. [wow that sounds like im leaving the state or something haha] Anchorage dorm [my dorm] is set up like appartments, the doors leading to the outside. The other dorms have indoor hallways, where everyone mingles. I feel like i know Old Ecola girls more than I know my Anchorage girls. I love the social interaction in Old Ecola [where I am considering moving into next term] ...and I feel like I'm a wilting flower here in Anchorage. I guess I just need to pray about it....good answer for everything.
Anyways, I better get to bed soon. I've been staying up way too late lately.
11.02.2008
rainy sunday.
at the moment, im in bellas (as usual) listening to old music, like ella fitzgerald and frank sinatra (thats what they play here alot :) its a great day. just little things adding up. i have worship practice in a few minutes, and i just looked outside and it just started to POUR rain. but i dont mind, actually.
i dont know why im in such a good mood, but i like it.
a perfect mocha. zebra print. worship at hand. the pouring rain.
its a good day.
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