sheesh.

I just don't know when the whirlwind will end!

Yesterday, I worked opened at 10 speed, and took off about noon to meet up with my friend Robin. She owns this store (adore it!) and needed some of her stuff photographed on models for her website. No, I wasn't her main photographer, just a trainee :]

Robin has a girl friend, Jennifer, who is a legit professional photographer. Like works for an agency, profesh. Wish I could tell you which one, but let's just say that I was intimidated ... alot.

So the goal was for me to watch Jenn direct and coach the models. It was so amazing! This girl was so laid back and then out of no where, she would bust some amazing poses. I was floored, and learned so much from her. I hope in the future, Robin will have me do some shoots for her website, since Jenn lives in Arizona.

Today, I was so beat after the shoot. I'm not sure if I ever woke up. I had to stay extra late at work, to do extra pastry prep, because I'm taking off for California for the next 5 days. I'm really looking forwards to this road trip with my sweetie. We haven't had a true road trip yet. We're heading towards Sacramento, for a wedding. Josh is a groomsman, and I am shooting the wedding. Dan and Savannah are friends of ours from school, and I am so thrilled to take pictures of their beautiful day. I just love them. I just don't know how I'm going to handle the 100+ degree weather....ice pack on the neck, maybe? ;)

I had lots of errands to run after work in my zombie-like state. It was such a dragged out day. I stopped by my Mother-in-law's [AKA, Ma] to drop off a few things. It was a party at the Taylor household, (more like a cleaning party haha) and I ended up sticking around. I love my in-law's. It's weird calling them my in-law's, because they're my family now. Anyways...I came home and started packing, and Josh changed the oil. Then, OFF TO THE FAIR! Oh, what a wonderful night. We mostly went for the food. And it did not disappoint. We went on one ride; the ferris wheel. It was my one request, since I had never been on one before. I loved it, especially since I was sharing that silly/sweet experience with my love.

I am wiped out. The only reason I'm writing this instead of sleeping is because I'm downloading all my images from my cards, so I don't need to drag along my external hard drive to California. Just a feeeeew more minutes, and then I am off to bed!

So we get back from California on Sunday some time, and we are definitely taking Monday off. Tuesday, back to work, and Wednesday, my mom flies in! YAY! Why? Because my sister-in-law Liz is getting married next weekend. Bam. Talk about busy. But it's a good busy. It's wedding season!

ok. bed time for this zombie.

pain.

What a rough day. I'm pretty sure my cyst is coming back. Just when it feels like we're making headway on saving up money, disaster strikes! well, ok. it might not be disaster, but let's face it. I'm a bit on the dramatic side, especially when it comes to pain. I am, a pansy.

I plan on calling Christian Healthcare on Monday. I'm really really hoping that they will have immediate coverage. I'm also really hoping to be able to take care of this in a clinic, instead of the ER this time. This could go really well, or absolutely terrible. Being the negative-nancy I am, of course I'm preparing for the worst. I know I'm going to need surgery, since this is the third time I've had this pilonidal cyst. If you haven't had one, you are lucky, and cannot imagine the pain.

Whenever I am in pain, or preparing for pain, I am the worlds biggest grump. I feel so bad for Josh. I am also the hardest person to try to console. It's a bad combo. But I do have a wonderful husband. I was in tears for a good two hours, stressed and worried. We were sitting in the living room, looking into the kitchen, and I said something about wishing I could paint. (Our house is full of wood. yuck.) And then Josh said that we will someday build a house together. "Right," I said. "because we're saving so much money between the hospital bills." And then he looked me in the eyes, and said, "I married you, and promised to love you, through sickness or health. Well, that wasn't actually in our vows, but....you know..." I love him. He is truly amazing.

I feel like the worst person in the world on days like this. Its so very humbling. I'm angry, and upset, and feel like I have every right to be. I really don't. I wish I could justify my behavior, but it just boils down to the fact that I am a selfish person. I know bad things happen in the world. I see it all the time. Yet, I react horribly any time something bad happens to me. And I don't know why, or how to change my reactions. I'm coming to realize that I believe something: that I don't deserve these bad things that happen to me. When did I start to believe that lie? Of course I deserve them. I am a sinner, unworthy of love, or blessings. Yet, Christ has saved me, and made me righteous. I feel so ugly and dirty when I look back at my actions, pouting over something bad, big or small. God is showing me His love, through Josh. I love marriage. I love my husband. And I love Jesus. His love is so overwhelming, and it's embarrassing that I can simply force myself to forget that when I go into a pity party.

My moods are intense. When I am happy, I am happy. When I'm upset, run. I don't necessarily like this, but Josh has helped me realize that I am a passionate person. And passion can run either way.

*sigh* It's days like these that make me ache for Heaven. I'm sick of fighting, sick of illness. But that ache for Heaven is good. We aren't meant for this world.

crafty.

well, life seems to be getting into a groove again. which I don't mind. I'm still really busy with work, but I guess that's just summer. It feels nice to be back to something normal again.

You've heard me mention stumble upon. I love it. And its been inspiring me to be creative again, even when I'm so busy. Its nice...kind of like therapy.

here's my inspiration for my current project. I painted an old wood frame we found in our shed, left by the previous renters. "Surprising what a lick of paint will do, isn't it?" I'm really excited how it's turning out. I'm going to use it in the store actually, for a quiche board.

Not quite sure what my next project is. I feel like I'm halfway thru several right now. Most of them are for my spare bedroom. It's my favorite room in the house. We call it the green room.

[I think it explains itself....]

I just painted an awesomely hideous lamp that I found - guess where - in the shed. Yep. It, too, is going in the green room. Ooh. Maybe that will be my next project; re-doing the lamp shade. Finding some neat fabric and re-covering the nasty old thing. Now if only I could find some fun fabric with bright green and orange together...

I love finding treasures and fixing them up. Especially when you already own them. Garage sales are my weakness. I can almost always find something that just needs a little TLC!