down time.

This week has been just absolutely amazing. 

Best two teachers (in my opinion) yet. I've learned so much, and friendships have just grown so much closer. 

Today everyone is running around Seaside, a town about 10 minutes away from Cannon Beach, putting together last minute outfits from misfit thrift stores. There's a Halloween costume party tonight, and sounds like a bunch of people will be there. Its going to be fun. So all day, I've had to myself. I really haven't had that since I've been here. I've been at bellas all day, editing photos, working on my absentee ballot, and my friend Jordon joined me for a bit. 

Yesterday was great. We did swing dancing inside for the first time during the afternoon break for about an hour and a half. Normally, we do it at night outside. It sucks because its kinda cold (but you get moving so you dont feel it) and there's no outlets, so no music. I wish we could do it on campus, but its considered PDA...understandable. So, we did it at the information center. They started there last year, so they were happy to see people coming back. They had a huge room with wood floors, and PLENTY OF OUTLETS for music :) it was much much better with music, even though not nearly as many people showed up. Alot of kids work while they're here so they can afford to come. So, I was a happy clam all day. Later that night was more waltzing...I just cant get enough dancing, it seems. My knee is all banged up tho, between skim boarding and bumping into shins of my various dance partners. Owwie. 

Anyways, tomorrow morning is a hike to Saddle Mountain. I dont know how strenuous it's going to be, but its sure early. I usually catch up on my sleep on Saturday mornings. Oh well. The sight is breathtaking, I've heard. I'm sure its worth it. Other than that, not alot of big plans for the weekend. 

daughter of the king.

short and sweet, but here's the paper about purpose.

From our youth, we are pressured to make something of ourselves. If you can dream it, you can do it; find the best paying job, the most handsome spouse. Life is so fast paced here in America, and its so easy to get caught up in this mindset. 

In these last few months, God has been revealing to me that I am too caught up in a fast pace. I need to slow down and do something that scares me - listen. What will I hear? Condemnation or admiration?  our god is a god of love, of conviction and not condemnation. 

"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear. Forget your people and your fathers house. The kind is enthralled by your beauty. honor him for he is your lord." (Psalm 45:10)

What defines us? Our past, our future? What about resting in the knowledge of being a child of the lord most high? Who am I to argue with such love? Forget your people and your fathers house - leave them behind and focus on God, our true Father. 

My purpose is to find who I am as a daughter of the King. 

I am loved - cherished - adored, and my duty is to be open to his plans. Not knowing my future used to scare me, too. But i now see that worrying about the it is pointless, because plans change daily.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Who am I? 

I am Laurel, a daughter of the Lord most high. and my life is in his hands.

bruised.

today was pretty glorious.

wednesdays are usually stressful for me, because i procrastinate homework monday and tuesday. papers are always due on thursday, but i cant write if im not under pressure. anyways. 

so today i was still procrastinating, but i went SKIM BOARDING for the first time. pretty amazing. i fell three times, and dang. that sand is hard. im so very very sore, and im hoping that these red marks will turn into some sweet bruises. i never get bruises...unless its my black eye haha. 

so i got done skim boarding and came back and did homework. it really didn't take me that long. i absolutely love this week. awesome teachers who didnt assign super hard homework. and i feel like im learning alot too. cant get better than that. oh wait yes it can....SUNSHINE AND SKIMBOARDING!

my friend calli got some pictures, so up they go!!

i feel really bad. mom and dad are at home packing away and moving like crazy. and im here having the time of my life. i want to be there to help them, but i am so thankful to be here. bittersweet.

[left : kim. she's hard core. right : me. this is going to hurt tomorrow.]

[okay, so im still learning...]

[my salty friend, calli]

[mmm. salty.]

[I believe my words were, "OWWIEEEEEE!"]

[if you look at my right knee, its swollen. this was after my 3rd fall. 

and that explains why i am so wet :]

stretching.

ug. my internet freaked out. so this is my second time typing this up. PISSED!! urg. sketchy internet.

anyways. this week is going to be a big push for me.

We have a speaker on creation, which is super exciting to me, because I've always loved studying creation.

But then our second speaker is focusing on James, which I love too. But his assignment to us is this: write your purpose statement.

I could easily make something up...bluff my way through it, like I did in high school, but thats not why I am here.

I actually need to sit and listen. Figure out why I am here. 

Is it just to take pictures? 

To be loud and outgoing and loving?

To find my place, being content as a daughter of the King?

To give up everything and run after Christ?

I don't know. And that's what scares me.

Last week was the same thing. Our Old Testament teacher had us do a 20 minute "quiet time," to just listen, and write down our train of thought, and what we heard. This was so scary for me. I really haven't done this in a long time, but especially after the whole New York thing blew up in my face. I was so scared to sit and listen to God, because I doubt myself. What I thought I heard from God before may have been wrong (or it may be for later in the future). This really made me question alot, and realize so much. When we want something so badly, we can actually convince ourselves that we hear an answer from God, when its actually just our selfish desires. I wanted New York so badly, which isn't really a bad thing...It was with YWAM, after all, but i can see now that my motivations were more for the setting, and not for seeking the heart of God. Being here has opened my eyes to so much.

Fear. 

Need.

Love.

Fellowship.

and i know i have SOO much more to learn. This is just the beginning.

So, if you think about it, be praying for me. To focus...Ecola isnt about taking the best pictures, or the hikes, or all the cute boys. No no no. Its about focusing on God. Be praying that I can begin to see changes that need to happen. Its already started, but it needs to keep happening. I know its going to be a stretch. A big one. And its about time. I'm definitely going to be needing some re-enforcements. 

week two ending.

the last few days have been pretty rough on me.

i feel like im getting sick, but thats normal for me this time of year. [i've gotten sick the last three years ... all state choir helps me keep track of that.] i've been really low on energy, and really short with people. it makes me feel even worse when i do that. but its still been fun, just havent been the normal crazy me.

Friday morning, 60 students went to Camp 18, which is like 30 minutes from here, for cinnamon rolls as big as your head. we had to wake up at 6. [that morning was when i started to feel sick.] it was soooooo good. but the rest of the day was so rough for us. people kept doing the falling asleep nod in class. and it was sunny out, but all i did was edit photos the rest of the day. i went to the beach to try to take a nap, but it was pretty windy, so i went back to the lounge. really annoying people kept coming up to me, and talking to me. i felt so bad for thinking it but, i thought, 'why are you talking to me. all you are saying is word vomit. theres no reason for you to be talking.' i hate being sick. i hate being grumpy. but the two come hand in hand.

today i slept until one. i was so out of it. i definitely needed to catch up. after i got ready, my roommate hilary, kaja and i went to Ross, spent some money, and then went to freddies to catch up on groceries. then dinner with some more girls. that was alot of fun. its been great getting to know these girls more and more. around 8:30 we went to crescent beach for a bon fire. the tide was really high, the stars were out, and it wasnt that cold, like it was last night. a few times, a wave would come up higher than the rest, and a few of them actually hit the fire. my shoes and vest got soaking, but thankfully, i had taken my phone out of my vest pocket when i set it down. hiking back in wet shoes was really gross. 

tomorrow is sunday...church! its so weird for me getting back in the habit of going again. last week i tried a local one in cannon beach. it was good, but this is my first time of actually church hunting, since i went to the same church my whole life. comparing is good, i guess. so tomorrow im trying one thats about an hour away. 

we've started dancing after classes a few times a week. theres swing dancing, and then another girl, chelsea, is teaching ballroom dancing. last night was the waltz, and it was nice already having the basic step down.  i love dancing. i want to learn as much as possible.

anyways. needing sleep. love to all.

glorious.

today was picture perfect. a little TOO picture perfect, in fact.

it was sunny - like its been all week - and SO very warm. we had alot of reading assigned to us today, and i needed to start a paper as well.

i went to the beach with my new friend Kaja and attempted to settle in to read. Just as we began to do that, a few of our friends from Ecola came down with their skim boards. I hadn't seen skim boarding yet, tho i had heard of it, so I decided to take pictures and see it in action. I really wanted to try it, but I was in some white shorts....bad idea to get THOSE wet! I took about 300 pictures since it was on continuous setting, but it was so glorious i didnt want to stop!

anyways, I felt really bad wasting an hour instead of reading. But it kept happening all day. I kept getting side tracked... mom called me, dinner time, and AMAZING sunset, bonfire (which I passed up actually...) and volleyball. It was a great day, but I didn't get any homework done haha.

oh well. i dont regret it.

[mmmm. fall.]

[i love pelicans. theyre my favorite bird, i do believe.]

[alright...time to study!]

[SO MUCH READING!]

[so loud, yet so peaceful.]

[surreal.]

[skimboarding is much too big of a distraction. no studying accomplished today!]

[Sam]

[Jeremiah]

[Nate]

[scoping the next set of waves]

[another way to skim board. maybe I'll try this tactic!]

[Jeremiah likes to pretend he's a model. alot.]

[Doug loves cheesy surfer poses. I love posers. Its a perfect match!]

[surfs up! wait...that doesnt work...]

[take a breather, guys...its tough work looking good! haha]

[Nate skimming, and Kyle photographing.]

[I love everything thats going on in this picture.]

[okay. time to try studying again.]

[one of the best sunsets I've seen in a long time.]

pictures.

so, a few things besides all the pictures: 

its only the beginning of the second week, and it already saddens me thinking about being here for just one year. So, I am going to be applying for the internship or the RA at the end of the year...

my roommate jenna asked me the other day if i wanted to go to lunch with her and her family when they come into town. i thought that was pretty cool, since she seems quiet.

thats all. enjoy the pictures.

IT NEVER ENDS!

gosh. this is beginning to get frustrating.
i had such a routine down at home, and im trying to figure mine out here. blogging is really hard to fit into everything!
Ecola is so glorious. Theres ALWAYS something going on. I'm really happy to be so active....swing dancing, volleyball, skimboarding, basketball, or just walking between the dorms.(ours is really far away from everything. my dorm is named anchorage :)
So far everything is great, even with the roommates. Its inevitable - there's going to be fights, but for now its calm.
Yesterday my boxes came in, all 8 of them!! Feels so nice to have something besides my 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of BLACK shoes (meaning i couldnt wear anything brown) and 2 sweatshirts.
I went to the store yesterday to buy cleaning supplies since it was my week. I went through the line, and the cashier asked me, "Do you own a cleaning business??" I was tempted to say something sassy (imagine that..!) but i didnt. Do I look old enough to own a business? Anyways, I just explained to her that I just moved here and told her a bit about Alaska, and she brought up the topic of Sara Palin (thats normal now. not a bad change of subject from polar bears and igloos when alaska is brought up.)
So after I got back and cleaned and unpacked a bit, my roommate Steph asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her. So we skipped out on cafeteria dinner and went to Pizza A'Fetta just next to bellas cafe (a minute walk from Ecola...seriously.) It reminded me alot of Fat Olives, and made me a bit homesick. But it was really great having a one-on-one with my oh-so-sarcastic friend. I'm really happy to have her for a roommate. Before I moved down here, I knew I should start praying for my roommates. I could have prayed for friends who I would easily get along with, but instead I prayed for girls that I need in my life right now, and who need me. It really made me realize that no matter who they were, I knew it was who God wanted for me and vice verca.

[sorry my thoughts are really random, or if I'm repeating myself. I cant remember what I've posted in the last few days...]

I played basketball last night, despite how nervous I was. I was the only girl on my team, and thats what was so frightening...playing with all these good guys. But I wasn't doing too bad, considering that I haven't played in a few years. Felt good to run and be part of a team after so long. and I made two baskets...hooray!

I called Livi last night, since i miss her oh so much. We talked for nearly a half hour, and I really want to go visit her in Spokane for All Northwest if she makes it. The concert is in February and I have a few girlfriends who are from Spokane, so its not completely impossible...

Mom got home today, so tomorrow I need to call her and have her walk through my room to see what else I forgot. I'm such a space cadet....

Its been sunny almost every single day. I'm so thankful for it. Today I went to the beach with kaja and candi to work on some papers and read. Felt SO good to lay in the sun on the sand, AND be productive.

Its so amazing already. We're reading through Genesis this week, and normally I would read through it and not think anything about it. But I'm already looking at it differently. I have questions...that never has happened before. Its like looking at it in a whole new light. Seems like thats the same story for a few other people.

People are beginning to not be so shy/awkward. Its nice. I'm definitely past that. ON TO BEING NOISY AND SILLY! people dont seem to mind too much....yet.

Mom said that theyre flying me down to utah for thanksgiving. (did i already mention that? oh well.) Mel called me a few days ago and said she will be there too. YAY! i miss my sister...

anyways, that was productive. but its dinner time. I'll post again when I can. LOVE YOU ALL!!

Catching up, part two

i think its going to be pretty impossible to blog every day, sadly. theres SO much going on, and then there's the iffy internet from my room. so i think that sundays will the the day that i take a day to find quiet time and catch up on the previous week. 

okay. so, finally, after wandering around for a few hours, i met one of my roommates. her name is Jinah (pronounced Jennah) and she's 25, and a very sweet girl. She was adopted from Korea when she was 4. I got to meet her mom, and had a bit of relief as I watched them carry in many many totes. I was so worried packing, scared that girls would assume I'm a materialistic girl since I was bringing so much. But honestly, I was less than 2 of my 3 roommates. Mom was right (as always)..."girls are going to be driving their cars completely packed full to school." So, it was a few hours before I met the two other girls. Stephanie, from Minnesota, and Hilary from Washington (pretty much raised in the Philippines with her missionary parents.) Steph reminds me so much of my friend Sam. Doesnt help that their names are similar, so I keep calling her Sam. And Hilary knows the Weissers! Small world. She went to Faith Acadamy in Manilla, and was on the swim team with a few of them. So we find that funny :)

sorry.

sorry the last blog was cut to and end randomly. 

i had to go leave suddenly and so i posted what i had.

ug im not even going to start on it tonight because im so tired.

but ill have free time this weekend and catch up on the week.

love love!!

Catching Up!!

At last! internet connection!!

so catch up on the last few days...

Friday was a mess. Bre came up to my house with a cup of love to wake me up. We chatted for about a half hour, and had a tearful goodbye. Ugh. I hate goodbyes. 

Then the insanity began! Packing up the last minute things. We wanted to get on the road by 10, but as always, we didn't reach our goal. Mom and I were headed to anchorage by 11. As we were passing Diamond Ridge, I realized that I had forgotten some sushi I had made the night before for the road. No big deal, really...its just food. But it was just a foreshadowing for the rest of the day.

As we got to Soldotna, I asked mom, "Did you grab the hair straightener off of the table?"

"No, I thought you did..."

"Uuuuuuuugh. I guess We'll just buy one in Anchorage. But where can i pack it? I HAVE NO ROOM!!!" 

We get to Anchorage, and head over to the new Target. Woo hoo!! So we looked for the same style of hair straightener, but didn't find it. "Maybe I got it in Wal Mart..." Mom suggested. I ended up buying a folding hair dryer and a tube of mascara. When we got to the car, thats when I realized the worst. "I FORGOT ALL OF MY MAKEUP!!!!" Mom did her best to calm me down, reminding me that its all replaceable. "But I just bought a bunch of new makeup!" I was ill. I couldn't believe I forgot it. And its going to be another 2 weeks before I get it since mom is in Utah for awhile. So, over to Wal Mart we went. No hair straightener there either. But I could replace the real necessities.

I finally calmed down. I was so tired, so stressed...but amazing mom was there for me as always. I was really mad at myself, but mom was right. It was all replaceable. $50 later, and I was restocked. 

We went to dinner with Melissa and Lance. We all caught up on whats been happening lately, and shared many laughs about old memories. Such a good way to end my last day in Alaska. 

The flight went well; just a short three hours. It was better than I was expecting, due to the newborn baby sitting RIGHT behind me. I thought it would have been screaming the whole time, but thankfully, it was a good baby. I was sitting next to mom, and Steven. Needless to say, he had me laughing for half of the trip, so I got a few glares. Mainly from this weird guy sitting one seat ahead/across from us. I felt creeped out, so Steven put on his sunglasses, and put up a pillow, and peered over it at the guy. (I was sitting next to the window, so Steven's little charade blocked me from the creepers view.) I love Steven....its never a dull moment around him. 

We got into Portland at 5:30, and got some breakfast. Steven went down to baggage claim to meet up with his brother, so mom and I went to the first class lounge area. (Cant remember what its called.) I wasn't going to be picked up until 11, so I was really thankful for the quiet area to catch up on a little bit of sleep. I kept getting phone calls from wrong numbers. Why does that always happen? Whenever I get a new number, it happens to be THAT number...the one that always gets called by banks, or other stuff. Previous owners had bad credit. Or they were drug lords. Ug. Just my luck, I guess. Anyways, so finally around 10:30 mom and I headed down to baggage claim. Steven was sitting there with his bags, and had been there the whole time! His brother was sick, so he didn't come pick him up, and Steven didn't want to go back through security. I felt bad for him.

We met the other girls who flew in; Stephanie from Chicago, and Julie from Concord, California. I had to say goodbye to mom then. SO HARD!!! I wasn't as much of a mess as I thought I would have been. A few tears...but I think I was so tired. But it was a really fun trip, even tho we got lost and doubled our car ride. I was so tired, I didn't notice. It was a sunny day on Saturday, so I was super excited about that. It was perfect weather to me, but cool to everyone else. 

As we drove into Cannon Beach, it was just like coming into homer. Just like baycrest! There's a hill with a big reveal; but instead of the bay, you see haystack. So amazing. It so strange to me being at the ocean with no mountains across the bay.  And the sand! Its so soft, and NOISY! They call it barking sand (not to be confused with barking spiders haha). I've been to alot of different beaches, and I've never heard sand  like it before. Its also a shock to see that its white sand, and not the normal grey I'm used to. But I totally feel at home. Same rainy weather, same small town feel, but without the hovering feeling of having your personality caged. 

I thought that registration was on Saturday, but to my surprise - and relief - it was on Sunday. I was really not looking forwards to traveling for 24 hours and showing up without any makeup, slept on hair and PJ's....here I am...take my picture. Awesome. So I was really thankful for a day to recover, and I didn't have my roommates yet. But problem...a bunch of my stuff is still in the mail. including my blankets and towels and pillow. Oops. So I've had to make a pillow out of my sweatshirt and scarfs. Thankfully, I'm not a picky sleeper. Lights on. Noisy. The floor....doesn't matter to me. 

Molly, my dorm R.A. is super sweet. She's my age and we get along really well. She gave the 6 girls a tour (thats all that had showed up at that point) and introduced us to the RA's, interns and deans around campus. I felt like I already knew Diana and Meagan (office worker and the Dean of Women) because of facebook. They really make you feel so welcomed here. But as I met more people, I kept getting the same response. "Oh Laurel! You're Kevin's friend, right?"

"Oh no." I moaned to myself. "...expectations. Just what I was happy to get away from."

After about the 5th time hearing that, I nearly started crying. It was a mixture of exhaustion, and frustration. I was on overload. So many people to remember, and so many more to meet. I still had to meet my roommates the next day, and I was still dreading that. 

Saturday night we walked to crescent  beach, which is about a 20 minute walk away from the school. It was really cold that night; clear skies and almost a full moon. I still don't have all of my sweatshirts either. They're being shipped too. So, I was pretty cold, and everyone was making fun of me because I was from Alaska and cold. "It's damp cold!" We had a pretty good laugh about that. But once we got to the beach, a group had already gotten the fire started. Before long, it was huge. Molly and I got a little crazy and waded into the water. She went in a few feet, and I just kept running till I was knee deep. So refreshing, and made me feel back at homer. I dont know what it is about the ocean....but it calms me down. I have such a connection with it. Molly and I ran back to the fire and dried off. It wasn't long till we went back in again. "I can tell we're going to get along really well," Molly said. It felt nice to hear, especially since I was hearing this when I wasn't even being the real Laurel. I was more like Zombie Laurel. Of course, I took some pictures. It was such an amazing sight; the 7 foot bon fire, with the sparks flying into the air, reaching out to the moon. New and old friends gathered around. The sound of the waves. This is like home to me. 

The walk back was really entertaining. Kevin introduced me to John - a skinny red head, with a talent for impersonations. "Do some of your voices, Laurel!" I had to ask Kevin what voices I COULD do. I was so tired I couldn't even remember. "TEEN GIRL SQUAAAAAAAD!" I went off on that tangent for a few minutes, and the voices kept coming to me as John and I took turns. My goodness...he's amazing. Can't say I've ever heard so many perfect voices from one person.

I got back to my dorm and continued unpacking. I was really glad that there were 4 dressers, and that I had first dibs. I made sure to test the drawers to see which one didn't stick. By around 11:30, I was wondering why I was still up and organizing. "JUST GO TO BED!" I told myself. I had no problem falling asleep. New places/beds dont bother me either, apparently. I didn't wake up until 11 on Sunday when Livi called me. We talked for a few minutes, and then I got my butt in gear and finished unpacking, and then showered. Very awkward drying off with a sweatshirt...

I headed to the gym for registration, where a line was just beginning to form. I was second in line, and Steven was the official "door holder", so he was first in line. It wasn't long until the line was past the first dorm. We made small talk with people around us, but I was still being a little 'awkward turtle.' Its going to be probably a week until everyone starts getting past that. It so hard stepping beyond your comfort zone, even in a Bible College. Our society is so about privacy and first impressions, judgements and appearance. Its so strange. I look around the faces, knowing that most, if not all, of these kids are my brothers and sisters in Christ, yet we are still scared to talk to each other. There's something majorly wrong with this picture. After a quick run through the registration line, Steven and I went to Bellas Espresso, for my first Bella experience. SO AMAZING!!  (In fact, I am in Bellas right now :) 

tears.

tears of joy. 

of sorrow.

of stress.

of worry.

its all so jumbled right now.

i had say goodbye to my dad tonight unexpectedly. thats when the tears started. i havent cried yet amongst all of these goodbyes. i knew the water works would begin once it came to family. i just wasn't expecting it so soon.

tonight was a going away party for bethany, a dear friend of mine from YWAM here. she's going back to canada for a while to see her family, and then she'll be road tripping with her sister. there's talk of her coming to see me in oregon :) pretty excited about that. her party was alot of fun, being pirate themed and all. like always, i was a little over-kill. i showed up, expecting everyone to be in costume, but the average was simple striped shirts, or bandanas. to put it lightly, i was jack sparrows. oh dear, i felt out of place, but tried to make the most of it. in the end, it was fun being the hit. bethany said i made her night. 'both jack sparrows AND laurel came to my party! what more could i ask for?'

[again, i'll post pictures soon. i just dont have alot of time right now to edit pics.]

i dont know how ready i am. i wanted to have the rest of my stuff packed up to make it easier on mom and dad for the move. there's just so much on my mind...stupid doubts about fears of being judged. 

'like omg. look at how much stuff she brought. shes such a materialistic girl.'

or how first impressions are so important. and normally, my first impressions are either:

-being snobby and mean

-or being 'that girl'...you know, the really loud annoying one.

ug. ug. ug. i hate being a worrier. 

i'm totally dreading saying goodbye to my mom on saturday. i'm going to be such a mess. saying goodbye to everyone in homer is hard enough. but shes my mom. my best friend. my life line. i honestly dont know what im going to do without her. im crying already just thinking about it. 

its all hitting me at once. thats how life usually does it. not one thing at a time...one big whammy. 

i'm so excited. so scared. so worried. 

i know if i said 'timing couldnt be worse' then somehow...it WOULD get worse, but this is really really bad timing. 

'just stay one more week!' mom keeps saying. i wish i could. i want to help, but i cant. mom and dad have so much going on. you couldn't make up the drama that happens in our family. its pretty unbelievable. 

ug. i could keep going on about all of my worries. my stupid fears. but i need sleep. shut my brain up before i think myself to insanity.

goodnight insane world.

goodbyes.

Whew! What a day!

Got the packages sent off (turned out to be 6 parcels, and 2 flat rate boxes...dang.)

Ran errands with Mom in town today. Dropped off my form for an absentee ballot, picked up all the food for the party, and got to see so many people! I said goodbye to about 4 different people that I wasn't expecting to see. My friend Katie from Georgia called me this afternoon, as well. It was really great talking to her...for about an hour! It was definitely a day filled with little blessings. 

AND BIG ONES! The party was such a blast! It started out slow. We could hear the crickets chirping until about 8:15, when the first guests showed up. I think the house was fullest at 9:00. I never did get a head count, but I'm pretty sure over 50 people came through tonight. It was so good to see everyone one last time. I got a few gifts. Some sweet, some verrrrry silly. I think my favorites were the ridiculous glasses/boa that mrs. 'baydweller' got for me. They were such a riot! I think I'll wear them my first day of class :) And then Hope brought me the "Happy Journal" that I started about a year ago in the old Armageddon cafe. It began with this huge book called 14,000 things to be happy about. But, there were some really random farm themed ones that didn't really make any of us happy. So, I decided to make one! People could go through and make some up, or find their favorite from the book. It turned out to be quite a hit. Hope has had it since February, when they moved the cafe. (She was scared it was going to get thrown away.) I was so touched to have it given back to me, as silly as that sounds. I will definitely continue to write happy moments in.

I know its going to be crazy tomorrow; last minute packing! My favorite.I found a duffle bag at Salvation Army today...I love good finds. AND...the last details for a silly goodbye costume party tomorrow night. YAR!! Grab ye swords, mateys!! 

So time for the random story of the day! 

I was in Safeway picking up a veggie platter, and Sir Crack Head (who bought Lafawnduh) walked up to me as I was in line. "Fantastic. I get to talk to him about something besides the car...Oye." 

"So they tell me that there's a goodbye party for you tonight!"

Shocked, I answer flatly. "Uh...yeah. They sure are..?"

So he walks off, and I begin to wonder how on EARTH he knew about my party! Kinda creeped me out. But before I could even think of a possibility, he walked back up to me!

"How many different colors was your car called?"

Before I could even throw out a number, he interrupted me...the man just can't shut up for two seconds.

"...because I've already gotten about 5 different ones! Mauve, pink, purple, fuschia, burgendy..."

I am unamused. "Of course you're going to get crap about driving a PINK car. You're a guy. In a pink car. Do the math, if you can..."  

But, of course, my answer was more along the lines of..."Oh yes. You'll get even more. Believe me...she screams for attention."

"I had a guy walk up to me with a razor, offering to take the flower sticker off of the window. And I told him, 'you are not deflowering her!'"

I did find that kind of funny. Somewhat inappropriate, but in his head, he thinks that all teenagers talk like that. Whatever.

"Oh good. I'm glad. Have fun with the car."

I walked away, knowing that I would not miss these random awkward conversations with this man.

Anyways, I feel so very loved at this time in my life. I have so many good people in my life, and I will miss them all dearly. But I am even more excited to meet more amazing people. And to change my life. Its time for a change. 

PICTURES TO COME VERY VERY SOON!

 

blogging in bed :)

its been a veeeeery busy day.

i packed up about 5 boxes of various things:

-pillow and blankets

-shoes (omg...shoes)

-sweatshirts, vests, and coats

-printer

-random cosmetics

-hats, belts, and purses...

and then i crammed about 40 pounds of clothes into my check-through bag. 

i still have about one duffle bag worth of clothes to take. but that took some EXTREME weeding through. i'll post the picture later of the stuff i'm leaving here. golly.

mom and i had a fun challenge with some space saver bags. the zippers kept popping open, so they kinda defeated the purpose after 15 seconds. so, we taped them shut and packed them into a box. mom and i just had this really funny thought. one of the bags had a leak. we could hear it, but we couldnt find it. but what if the postal service drops the box, and the seal breaks? i can just see it now...i get to school and i have this ENORMOUS box waiting for me, bulging out, the way NO box should! contents waiting to launch out, like one of those snakes in a can. one touch and SURPRIIIIIIIISE!!! oh dear. i sure hope not. but you never know, with my luck...

turns out momma gets to fly out with me!! thats a bit of a relief. but not for her....because she stops in portland but continues on to vegas. she's heading out to help auntie laurie with all of HER drama...as if we don't have enough on our minds!! auntie laurie does alot for our family, and she needs some help. but it just goes to show how amazing momma is. she drops everything for her family. 

our phones come in tomorrow!! eeek! so exciting. thats a relief as well. anyone looking for a phone? my little nokia is still in good shape.

and dun dun dun DUUUN! TARGET IS OPENING TOMORROW! HORAAAY! originally, it was going to open the 12th....the day after i left. just my luck, eh?? perfect example.

anyways, i'm pretty tired, and its not going to settle down from here. 

tomorrow is the party. we'll have to set up all day, prep food.... but its going to be SO much fun. I cant wait. and britt is making her FABULOUS creme cheese bread. oh yum.

this is going to be good.

dinner.

Oh dear...two days behind!!

Saturday night, it snowed about 3 inches up here. I woke up pretty mad, if you can imagine. 

Sunday was my last day of frizbee. It ended up snowing during the game, which was pretty cool :) I left in a really bad mood tho. I hate this about myself: even if the game is just for fun (which this was) I always beat myself up if I don't do a good job. Generally, I pick up on things pretty quickly, and do a good job. I learn fast, and if I don't on one thing, I get so angry at myself. Ug. Such a frustrating cycle. So when people see I'm upset, they begin to encourage me, baby me...and thats TOTALLY not my goal. And I hate that's what it looks like. I'm not looking for sympathy, or encouragement. But its probably what I need since I'm so hard on myself. 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I got together with Kyle afterward, watched tv, had dinner. Good seeing him again :)

Today mom and I picked out a phone plan for the family, and picked out our phones. And surprisingly, they will get here before I leave!! Can't wait. I'm getting a blackberry, which makes me laugh if you've seen 'the office' season 4.

Tonight my parents and I went to Fat Olives for dinner. It was really good seeing everyone again, getting to say goodbye, and making sure that a few people would be at my party :) 

The sorting continues through all the 'stuff.' Will it ever end? Must make a big dent on the packing tomorrow. Party on Wednesday, and thursday I need to be packing everything ELSE to move here. Oh so confusing...

[this is what I woke up to...ARG!]

[but it was beautiful...]

[3 inches already!?]

[angry clouds!]

[last dinner out with the parentals]

procrastination.

Today was filled with beautiful nothing.

Mom and I are taking advantage of these last few days together, just driving around, getting coffee, running errands, enjoying the sunshine/hail/rain [all at the same time, if you can imagine that] knowing full well we have so much awaiting for us at home. So many things to pack and sort. 

"But they can wait..." momma said today. "It's too beautiful out. Who wants to be home today? Not me..." So out we went :) 

Procrastinating with my mother. One of my favorite things to do. 

We finally came home, ready to make dinner. Dad was already home [4:30 is early for him] so we all chatted during dinner preparations. It was nice being able to have dinner with them. Working nights sure cut that out of my schedule for the last year.

While we ate dinner, we watched "Extreme Home Makeovers." [We're dorks. I know.] But this one touched me...nearly had me crying a few times. It was about a family of 4. The parents were deaf, and their youngest son was blind and autistic. And it suddenly hit me... I have such a soft spot for the deaf. I have always been interested in sign language, and love trying to communicate with the deaf. They're generally such happy people because they love life; they have a deeper respect for it. Its so inspiring! I think I want to learn more sign language. 

Something that also encouraged this little seed was an interesting conversation I had this morning with one of our tenants. He's such a big sweetheart!! No one is a stranger to him; he can talk off anyones ear, but you want to hear what he has to say! He has such a passion for life. We talked for a good half hour this morning, and he pressed and encouraged me to learn as much in life as possible. "Find your 'bread and butter' career, but in your spare time, find what interests you and learn about it!! Go after your photography, your singing. Its great having dreams. Go after them. But don't forget to sit down and figure out what else you want to learn." 

So that's what I am doing.  I have always thought that; learn as much as you can in life.

I realize that everything I am passionate about is really hard to make a living out of. 

Singing.

Acting.

Photography.

Writing.

Its all or nothing with them. So he's right... I probably need to find something else, and do those on the side. As frustrating as that is, its the truth. But good to realize that now instead of five years down the road, after finishing an expensive art school, and realizing that its not enough. 

Yes, I know I have so many things to learn. But I LOVE that. I am so thankful for life. 

scarves.

They're no longer just an accessory. They are now a necessity!

First snow today. I couldn't believe it. Mom and I ran to the window to make sure we weren't mistaking heavy rain. We began yelling in disbelief, and denial. I laugh now thinking of how we looked. It truly would have been a sight to see. The two of us, still in our pj's, throwing temper-tantrums much too appropriate for three year olds.

"Thats it," she said. "I'm calling moving men, and we're getting out of here TODAY!"

Of course, it didn't stick for more than five minutes, but still. Its only October 3rd. Good Lord.

[ready and geared up for winter!]

Supposedly, its going to be one of the 'best' winters (this is coming from snowboarding addicts, which means TONS of snow). I must admit...I am torn. Part of me is happy I won't be here this winter, and instead off having different adventures. The other part of me wants to be here to enjoy some of the snow. I love snow machining. And snowboarding. Just not for seven months of the year. Last winter, I bought a snowboard and got to use it a grand total of ONE TIME. So, thats another reason why I would like to be here...get some use out of my 'new' board.


My week is being filled with last minute errands.

-picking up a form for an absentee ballot.
-retrieve lended out books, sweatshirts, and 'the office' series.
-picking up my last paycheck, saying goodbye to the crew, and getting my amazing letter of recommendation.
-going to salvation army looking for a duffle bag with Livi. [but instead, Livi got distracted by the shoes and got an amazing find - a killer pair of boots. lucky. I didn't have such great luck with the duffle bag.]

Tonight was my last swing dancing session. I'm so glad I got to do that. Seems like my last week is being filled with so much goodness, so many little blessings. This week will forever stick out in my mind. I'm such a sentimental sappy person, its ridiculous. But this is my home, and I am leaving it behind. Its such a big first step to me. I think I have the right to be that sappy, emotional, sentimental romantic that I truly am.

[yes...yes. that is snow.]

[this was an incredible sunset, but i missed it by a few seconds. sad.]

[October sky.]

empty.

that would be the word to describe my closet. i can start packing now, because i spent yesterday going through everything, putting it into piles: 

salvation army.

staying here. 

possibly packing.

obviously, the 'possibly packing' pile is the biggest. its going to take alot of weeding through to cut down. but i feel much more relaxed, knowing that i am so close to being ready to be outta here (packing/cleaning wise) and i still have a week. i thought i wasn't going to have any extra time, so this is a nice shock to me. 

last night was heather's birthday, and the first day of ABI. she had a bon fire on the beach, and alot of people were there. old friends. new friends. awkward friends, too. 

happy frickin' awkward night.

lets call him 'akward al.' he went to ABI last year, and i knew him through choir, and then we saw each other at fat olives, swing dancing, and armageddon cafe quite a bit. randomly, he asked me to coffee, a few times. so finally i figured i would go just to see where he was coming from. and i never could figure it out. he's nice enough, but awkward enough to make anyone uncomfortable. for example, he was listing the reasons to come to homer. 'well, its beautiful, the girls are cute (gesturing to me) and i knew people here.' yes, clearly he knew how to get to my heart. calling me cute. (insert barfing here.) anyways so i try to be normal, but he always manages to slip an awkward turtle in there!! example: he said something about me holding the record for the most photos on myspace. awesome. he's inspecting myspace. and then later, he heard someone mention my going away party last night and tried inviting himself. i felt really bad shrugging it off, but hey. this is my party. i want people that i like there. HENCE why it is going to be at my house. i dont know if i'll ever see 'awkward al' again since i'm going to school. but thats okay. my life is abundant in the awkward department. 

its day five of sunshine. and its absolutely gorgeous. the leaves are at their peak of gold, and fireweed is beginning to lose its red. i love fall. i wish it lasted longer. but i'll get round two in oregon :)

lining up.

yes, things are coming into place. 

senior photos edited.

lafawnduh passed on to the crack head.

bank errands almost done

14 loads of laundry down.

work officially FINISHED!

next hurtle to jump : the garage

and to finish : packing.

i'm so happy its been sunny this week. really helps me stay positive amongst all the stress going on all about me.