and my dear I'm still goodbye-ing.

I am absolutely drained.
and completely behind on my blogging.
it really bugs me writing out of order. but whatever.

today was the last day of the first term at Ecola. I can't believe its already almost half over.
goodbyes were abundant today. I felt like the only one crying.
saying goodbye to so many dear dear friends - some I may never see again. [some cant afford to come back, others finished up from the previous year.]
I'm already a sentimental sap, so goodbyes are hard enough on me.
but on top of that, I have never wanted to go home so badly.
I bawled like a baby for about an hour. Each embrace brought new tears to the surface.
"Wait, are you not coming back next term?"
"No, no, I am!! I'm just going to miss everyone so much!"
The difference is this: I'm going to go through a huge withdrawal of friends.
From one extreme to the next.
Thats my life for you....
The people here at Ecola are some of the most amazing people I have ever met. To go from that, saying goodbye to people who are excited to return home to old friends, going to three weeks without them, and without your own old friends, is just a bit too much for me right now.
"Keep in touch! Call me, or text me."
"I don't have reception at my house..."
"Then facebook!"
"They don't have internet set up yet..."
oh snap. this is going to be good.

My flight isn't until tomorrow morning. And then I'm off to Texas.

I'm at the Fourtners house right now :) sweet Terry opened her home to me, kind of unexpectedly. We had previously talked about the short sleep over, but we told her the wrong dates, and she thought it was next weekend. So, I called her today as we drove into Portland. "I'm here!! Where can we meet?" As you can imagine, this was a fun surprise for both of us. I'm really ready for a trip to go right.

but a fun thing about that was I got to spend extra time with Kyle, Meagan, and Christina...staff members this year. We dropped everyone off at the airport, and thankfully I was done crying by that point. Then we went to IKEA to buy some frames for Christina's prints. We spent about an hour in there...a major portion in the photography area :) I was in heaven. very inspired. I cant wait for my own house, to put up my own prints. how exciting. But it was cool getting to hang out with the staff members. students spend alot of time together. staff does a great time mingling and interacting with the students...dont get me wrong. its just nice having that extra time with them. I told them how much I wanted to come back next year.
"Its so weird. I want to come back, but there's nothing I can do. It's all up to God. Normally, I would be trying to 'up my resume' but thats pointless in this case. 'I know I'm supposed to come back. Now I just have to convince God that's what's supposed to happen.' Doesn't really work that way, does it?"
"No. But bribing does. We respond well to chocolate."
baha. I love them so much.

[going backwards.]
Last night was the winter banquet!
fabulous food.
twinkle lights.
pictures galore.
fancy ladies.
dashing gentlemen.
abundant compliments.
making christmas trees out of paper, behind your back.
the christmas song war.
secret santas revealed.
a night to remember.


pairing words.

sleepy saturday.
crisp air.
christmas cheer.
secret santas.
decorating journals.
dark teas.
booking tickets.
coach house.
puff vests.
no makeup.
long talks.
sleeping in.
cartoon morning.
unexpected calls.
potential sunset.
remedy drive.
dance routines.
simple escapes.
leaves falling.
checkered floors.
people watching.
photo editing.
book reading.
chap stick.
candy canes.
beautiful bo's.
inside jokes.
table drawings.
chocolate chips.
assorted plasticwear.
holiday flavors.
alone time.
complete contentment.