tired.

you've all heard of being bored to tears. but have you ever been tired to tears?

I have.

and it seems like a very common state of mind for me these days.

last night, I took photos for the christian school's banquet. One of the students asked me to about a month ago, before I knew about opening the new coffee shop. The banquet was lovely, but I was so tired. I did my best to take pictures with full energy, but by 9, I was spent, and there was still another hour left.

When I showed up, I wasn't prepared for the setting. I knew it was going to be an indoor banquet, so I brought my bounce flash. But this was a huge barn, where a bounce flash wasn't going to do much. Panic began to set in, which always happens easier when I'm exhausted. And I was exhausted. I think I finally got a good setting for the photos, but I felt so awkward. It's been awhile since I've done a large shoot like that. I was out of practice. It felt like the first day of school again, not knowing anyone. But then I realized there were a few faces I recognized, and got a little more comfortable. But, since when am I awkward and uncomfortable with groups?

I felt like I was fighting myself all night. I was tired, and trying to have a good attitude, but I don't know how well of a job I did.

We open our new coffee shop on Friday, and I need to have these photos done by Saturday. I don't know how I'm going to do it. Coffee. lots of coffee. Maybe I can get someone to help me edit.

I got home around 10, and crawled into bed with my friend Calli, and cried. I felt so grumpy, and I missed Josh. He was in Mosier, house sitting, and I saw him for literally 2 minutes before I went to work that morning. I talked with Calli for awhile, with heavy eyes. And then I realized something. 6 months ago, I was gung-ho on starting up a photography business. Now, weddings and large events like that aren't my forte. I'm more comfortable with individual sessions, or detailed photos. I guess I'm glad I learned that before I started a photography business. Its a strange feeling, realizing that your passions are changing, and your life is changing.