plans.

Mom and I are beginning to lay out plans.

Moving...again....gross.

I only have like 5 days of work left, sprinkled between the next two weeks.

So on my days off, I'll begin the long process of going through everything, deciding what I will need in Oregon, and what can stay boxed up here in AK.

Silly sentimental me. I'm such a pack-rat... so it's time to be brutal. If you haven't used it in three months, chances are you won't use it any time soon. And then the next big challenge...the garage! Lordy...it's such a disaster area in there from the LAST move we had. We're both dreading this large hurtle.

Today we went through phone plans online and picked out phones. I was really bummed out to discover that my AK phone number can't be carried over to T-Mobile; I was hoping that would work out, so people here could still call me without getting charged long distance.

It's beginning to sink in, how soon this is happening. Every time I think about it, my stomach fills with those silly butterflies. Excitement. Nerves. [I tend to react to new things that way :]

Change is definitely in the air.

Changing of seasons.

Leaves changing color; and colors leaving.

Crisp winds, freshly snow-capped mountains, less tourists. Summer pace is out the door. Things are winding down, but picking up, too.

Fall has always been a strange time in my life. Especially this year. Working a night job really screws up my sleeping schedule. I'm energetic by the time I get off of work (between 9:30 and 10:30 depending on the night). In the summer, it wasn't such a big deal because everybody stays up late in the summer. But now, by 11, everyone else is already home and sleeping. So now I just go home, and stay up until 2 A.M. editing photos and listening to music. Muse over my life. Having mass amounts of 'alone time' is really unhealthy for me. This much time to think scares me, because I often focus on my problems, thinking in circles of insanity. Drama has avoided me the last few weeks, and I am still sane - and very thankful for that.

I absolutely love my job, but sometimes I wonder how healthy it is for me socially. I miss out on alot with my friends, because i ALWAYS work weekend nights. And lets face it...everything happens on the weekends. My little 'circle' has gotten used to my answer.

"Hey are you free tonight?"

"No, I'm working. Remember? I have no life..."

So now, even though work is slowing down, people kind of forget about me because I have secluded myself. Its a sick cycle, really. But I do it to myself. So I find myself torn again. I am grateful for the break from work, but I am going to miss it SO much since it has pretty much been my life this last year.

Ug. I need a life....

[Sorry that my blogs are so spread out. As time goes on, I'm sure that they'll get more focused. Welcome to my confusing mind. It has the ping-pong effect...its everywhere.]