I decided to break up the last blog, since it was so huge.
Wednesday morning, Mom, Dad and I headed over to Grandmas with three vehicles: their van, my cousins Mercades, and a U-Haul truck. [which means I got to drive! oh how I have missed driving.] And so it happened, that it was raining. This is St. George, Utah, where it only rains 7 to 10 inches each year. OF COURSE it was raining!! I couldn't help but laugh. That would happen, now wouldn't it? But, the show must go on!! Mom and I wrestled with getting Grandma packed up. Didn't take much, because that was part of her daily routine! [ha ha.] Another bittersweet reunion. Its been probably two years since I saw Grandma, but she thinks its been longer because of her dementia. It was like dealing with a child, really. She couldn't remember anything, so we kept having to tell her the same things over and over again.
"What are we doing?"
"We're packing up your things, because you're moving to Uncles, remember?"
"Oh, right!"
Everything in the room was hers, but she kept telling me to leave things behind. "No, that was here when I got here. That stays; its not mine."
So on and so forth.
Thankfully, we were able to get her out of the room at lunch time, and Dad was able to join her. Mom and I hauled cart loads of things, up and down the elevator into the vehicles. Auntie was off elsewhere, running errands. I was really being a pain. I didn't want to be there, and I was sick of moving. But I had to stop complaining after my Mom made a comment to my Dad as a joke. "This is our own personal hell. Moving, once a week!" And its true. The last month or so they've moved once a week, whether it be their own house, or someone elses. Ridiculous. At one point, we were standing at the elevator, waiting to take another load up. Auntie got off, pushing and empty wheelchair, saying, "This is a really bad idea. We shouldn't be doing this right now..." I nearly lost it for Mom and Dad's sake. I was frustrated enough, but I haven't been in the glue of this family like they have. We had already pretty much cleared out the room, and she was saying that it was a bad time? She thought it was going to take forever because it was lunchtime...lots of elevator traffic. When she said that, she didn't realize how much we had already done. But I was still mad...would you rather us wait another two hours? Or even do it tomorrow, on Thanksgiving day? Hmmm....so many OPTIONS!!!
["moving again..? seriously??]
Whew....anyways. Mom pointed out to me a darling old couple. "They used to be big swing dancers, and every Tuesday, they still dance here. Eventually, they had to tell him, 'Now, you can't be throwing her over your head anymore!'" I wish I could have seen them. She was so tiny, and they were both so happy.
But for the most part, it was so hard for me to watch everyone else in the home. Getting old and fragile is unavoidable, but its so painful. "I don't to watch you get old, Momma..." I choked up and tears began to well up in my eyes. "Hey...Dad and I are sticking to our plan...mustang off of a cliff!!" She always knows how to make me smile.
All three vehicles loaded up. Grandma was going to be in the Mercedes with me, and I prepared myself for an...interesting ride. I followed mom to a sandwich shop, and the two of us went inside. It was colder than I was expecting, for Utah. Grandma thought so, too, so she just waited for us. We were famished, so she didn't have to wait long for us to snarf down our food. I continued to follow Mom to Uncles house, with Grandma asking the same questions.
"Is this your car?"
"No, Grandma, its Ashlee's..."
"Oh..."
"She's in New York right now."
"Oh, that's right. They just might keep her there, you know."
"They just might..."
Sometimes the conversation would be different, like she would remember Ashlee was in New York instead of me having to remind her. But the hardest part was having to remind her that she was moving.
"So where are we going?"
"To Uncles house, remember?"
"What? There must be some misunderstanding. They never asked me if I wanted to move..."
"Yes they did, Grandma. In fact, you asked to move there."
"Hm..." A few moments would pass, and more than likely would say, "It sure takes a long time to get there. Is that our van in front of us?" [She would be talking about Mom's van.]
"Yeah, it sure is. I'm following her because I don't know the way to Uncles house."
"Oh sure you do. You're a good driver. Very smooth. I'm sure you wouldn't get lost. Do you like driving these streets?"
"I do, but this is the first time I have...I don't live here, Grandma. Ashlee does, but I go to school in Oregon."
"Oooh really? What are you going to school for? What's your major?"
I did my best to explain Ecola Bible School to her, knowing she wouldn't remember it for loing. This was pretty much the extent of our conversation for two hours, but recycled. I thought about mixing it up and making up stories, but knowing my luck, she would remember the incorrect versions. But she was right about one thing...it was taking us a long time to get there. Mom missed an exit, so she had to turn around. I didn't mind. Any excuse to drive more.
[around uncles house.]
We finally got to Uncles again. Needless to say, I was ready for some new conversation and was happy to see the rest of the family. The guys were unloading the big stuff from the U-Haul truck, and I was banished from the garage because of my wet hair.
"I don't want you getting sick!"
"Okay, okay, Mom. So what can I do?"
"Peel apples!"
Once she was done in the garage, she got to baking immediately. The house was filled with "scrumtrulescence..." I wish the thanksgiving aroma could be captured in something besides a memory. She made a fabulous roast that night, and two teasing pies that couldn't be touched until the next day. Grandma had already gone to bed when Auntie showed up with Moxie, who was feeling and sounding better. She could hardly whisper, but it was good to have her around again.
[happy apples!]
The dinner meal before day of thanksgiving was put to good use; consider it stretching, the warm-ups for eating. We stuffed ourselves, almost to pain, and pushed that pain to the limits with reminiscing. Dad and Uncle were howling as they quoted things their dad used to say. I won't even bother quoting them, because I'll either butcher them or they won't make sense in the humor department to people outside of the family. But it was lovely to see Dad and Uncle talking again. We've been through so much, this little family of ours. Those are tales of their own... Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for the turn of events to bring everyone together again. No one could have predicted it. It truly is a blessing.
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